You can't special order awesome
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You made out with two different species that night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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