Betty ford says i'm here all night
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
