i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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