Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
