there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
