I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
