she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
