How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
