Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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