Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
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Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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