that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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