He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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