Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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