Define "chronic" masturbator.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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