Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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