First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
