I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
