I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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