Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
