I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
