I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
