somebody snuck up and got me drunk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
sex in a hospital.. check
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
