well I can't set my house on fire every night
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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