its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
