I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
