We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
