R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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