I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The cops high fived after they tackled you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
