everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
