he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
