The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize