hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
