Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
