belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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