Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
