Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
