What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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