I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
