What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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