We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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