would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
