Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
