when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
