Just fell off a train. Bad.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
