Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
now i know why i became what i already was.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As shirtless as possible
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
