Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I intend to get homeless drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
