I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
