I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it glows. i had to have it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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