you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
