i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize