so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize