I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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