I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
