i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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