I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
