Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
