so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
