do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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