I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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