she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
