direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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