Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
