pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize