i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
